This letters is an official submission to the Your Life in Letters project.

To my best friend and true love,

This was a 15 minute project for my English class recently in which we had to use 5 simple objects in a story. The objects I was given were a granola bar, water bottle, stapler, pen, and chap stick. I felt that it was a way to get my thoughts out there. I hope that my love will read this:

The sound of pens furiously writing all around me. The jabbing pain of the continuous pounding of the stapler. I felt so alone in this place, around these people. I used to know, I knew the room, the people, the events surrounding me. Now nothing, but a reminder in my pocket. I whipped out my chap stick and quickly applied it. He shot a glance in my mind. That deep look in his eyes, not hate, but love. I sank in my chair and began to drown. It were as if I was in an ocean, just drowning. I looked to the board, what was I supposed to be doing? I hadn’t a clue of the assignment on the board. The empty paper talking to my water bottle, but the paper was full of nothingness. Nothing to say or tell, just empty, yet overwhelmed in this room. I finally began to write, just as quick as the others. Then a breeze of warm air creeped through the now open door. He approached my desk. Those beautiful eyes shining at me, the soft locks of hair draped on the top of his head. The half eaten granola bar sticking out of his pocket. Everything felt so bright, but I couldn’t see. For love, is blind, and I loved him with all my heart.

This may have been a simple essay in 15 minutes, but it was based on the truth and still is.

With all my heart,
LOSTinLIFE

This post was submitted by LOSTinLIFE.

This letter is an official submission to the Your Life in Letters project.

Dear Sulz,

I was your best friend when we were 14 years old. Or at least that’s what I remember you told me. We were like two peas in a pod, inseparable and most of the time contented with each other’s company.

We share the same name and a love for reading, but our similarities pretty much ended there. You love romance, I love young adult and fiction. You love to sing and dance, I can’t do either. You are sweet and shy, I am loud and opinionated. And yet we hardly ever quarreled.

I remember what drove us apart. Or rather, what made me push you away. I like to call it The Fever. It all started when I fell ill with the fever when we were 16. I don’t know why, but when I was feverish, everything that you did make me resent you.

I hated the way you had chosen to save all your going-out days to church rather than hang out with me. I hated the way everybody loves you but not me. I hated the way you smile and your dimples show, and your pretty, round, cheery handwriting, and your slim, lithe body, and your very existence.

I think I was jealous, but most of all I felt you were drifting away from me. I chose to leave the church, and you chose to stay. I would always have time for you, but you would never have time, or struggle to find time, to spend with me outside of school, with your church and family commitments.

So I hurt you back because you hurt me. I cut off all ties with you. It was the hardest and probably among the stupidest things I’ve ever done in my life. Do I regret it? Yes, even way back then. Would I change things if I were given a second chance? Probably not, knowing how stubborn I am.

The whole point of this letter is to say I wished things didn’t happen the way it had. Till today, you are a sensitive subject to me, and a part of my life I would like to forget because all the happy memories we had are tainted with the unhappy ending of our friendship, which was my doing.

Sincerely,
sulz

*This letter is addressed to a person who shares my name in real life.

This post was submitted by Sulz.

Update: This article was initially submitted as a response to a letter about Barack Obama.

Is That Black Enough For You?

Here we are in “Black History Month” and I find myself again confused. Perhaps troubled is actually a better way to describe my angst in response to the horrific statements I have repeatedly heard regarding Senator Barack Obama’s lack of Black awareness, experiences and sensitivities. Amidst this nonsense, I remain energized, recognizing that should the stars continue to align, this man may well receive the nomination of the Democratic Party for a run at the office of “President of the United States”. I am a democrat and a supporter of Senator Obama. I even dug down deep and made a modest contribution to his campaign. I am not a “political animal” but I am intensely engaged when it comes to presidential elections in particular. Citizenship is important to me and exercising my rights are for me, a matter of personal responsibility and unwavering commitment. That is the core of what this writing is actually about “responsibility and commitment”. In truth, I find both democratic candidates appealing and their differences relatively slight with regard to policy. I have chosen Senator Obama as the recipient of my support for one reason alone. He has better convinced “me” of his willingness and ability to unite people and accomplish positive change.

My father was visiting with me several months ago and it was who first introduced to me this idea that Senator Obama “was not black enough”, going on to say that he could not possibly have a clear and full understanding of the black experience. Something to do with a Harvard graduate and having lived in Hawaii. My father is an educated man and a lifelong democrat, but I did not hesitate to share with him my opinion and belief that I, or he, or Senator Obama could not possibly look as we do, and live in this country, and not understand the black experience. I find that an absurd viewpoint; although I did not use that wording when addressing my Dad. He did get my wheels turning however.

I wrote a column about “Black History Month” very recently, and I pointed out what I consider to be an intriguing trend that can be considered neither a statement of “commitment or responsibility”. Having been raised in a northern city and born in 1954, I was between the ages of 10 and 14 when some very intense and frightening violent demonstrations took place in the city I lived in and across the nation. I was old enough to observe and understand exactly what was taking place. Armed with the guidance of intelligent, responsible and committed parents, I was required to watch the news casts and read the news of events from the north and the south and I understood the concept of struggle regardless of the chosen means. The point of my recent column however, was that I have been attending “Black History Month” events for decades, and in all of that time, I have yet to attend one when a single name of “any” of those who applied other than peaceful methods during the Civil Rights Movement was “ever” even mentioned. Is it because their ideology and tactics included violence? Or are they “too Black”?

Again reflecting on my father’s comments and those of many others, I am left to wonder what it is that he and these racial critics of Senator Obama really want. I mean if they want “Super Black” then Stokley Carmichael (former leader of the Black Panthers) would be a perfect historic icon to celebrate annually. He was about a black as you can be in terms of complexion, his ideology was certainly about Black Unity and he had plenty of street credibility. He was quite handsome too. Still these same critics of Obama don’t even dare mention Stokley’s name in public settings. So Senator Obama, educated, handsome and accomplished as he is, is not Black enough. And the leaders of the Black Panthers and Black Nationalists are too Black. I can only suppose that is why they are not included in our annual celebrations. Well, if there is a line of demarcation on “Blackness” I should be at a loss. The truth is this is not my first time at the dance. I have a very clear understanding of how the social strata is understood and interpreted and generally applied, by and among, many Black in this country. It is far to complex to address herein.

The point here is that it is completely “irresponsible”, as a person of color, a person who claims to be racially aware and sensitive, to turn on another person of color, based on some baseless claim that they have not suffered enough or that they are not Black enough. What I find frightening is that this irresponsible and myopic viewpoint is seemingly substantially pervasive among Blacks in this country. That brings me to “commitment”. A little introspection about supporting the sincere efforts and accomplishments of Blacks, by Blacks and on behalf of Blacks might be considered and would certainly go a long way in terms of positive cultural impact. Also making a “commitment” to avoid making “unnecessary” negative judgments and assessments on the basis of a specific racial model should also be pondered. To sing forth such needless negative judgments about another Black person at any time, but particularly during “Black History Month”, as such a man as Senator Obama makes a miraculous and historic mark seems… just tragic. If ever there was a time for Black Americans to stand together and offer respect, admiration and support for another man of color, it would be now.

This message I am attempting to impart has absolutely nothing to do with votes cast, or those to be cast. It is simply a suggestion that we, the Black Citizens of this country, consider making a “commitment” to uphold a “responsible” level of reverence and dignity “among ourselves”. Then, we can go forth more confidently and comfortably, in our expectation of the same “for ourselves”.

I don’t claim to be all knowing, but I a fairly confident that if you are you take issue with concepts of commitment to “personal respect” and “responsible characterizations” with regard to your fellow Black Citizens, then your problem is otherwise. Say what you like but if the truth be known, for some… it is not be that Senator Obama is not Black enough… it is that he is not White enough.

He’s a very bright man so the bad news is, if I know this about our “Black Community’s” disjointed perspectives, so does Senator Obama. The good new is, we may well be on our way to finally having President who is smarter than me.
L. A. Walker

© Leon A. Walker, February 17, 2008

This post was submitted by Leon A. Walker.